"The two of us chatted over a glass of beer and the one thought that ran through my mind was what I could do to get into Grace's pants without getting on Rick's bad side. I could see in my mind's eye the number of times I tried to sneak a peek at her when she undressed or how I secretly drooled and got one hell of an erection whenever she wore her bikini. I asked my friend how Grace was doing and he told me that once again his sister broke up with some guy she was dating. "Is this because you were standing over her like a pit bull?" I asked slapping him on his back. "I'm surprised that your sister hasn't threatened to cut your balls off." You're kidding me, right? Of course, she threatened to cut my balls off but I am her older brother." Rick said with a rueful smile. "I think I am going to have to wear a protective cup around her." Sounds as though she hasn't changed since I left town," I said."Listen, John, I having a party at my place tomorrow afternoon and I would be great if you. Probably I'd lent the brain cell to someone, or perhaps I sneezed it out. I offer it only as an example of how not to do dialect because it is bloody difficult to read. Oh yes, and I used Lord Lucan as a nom dee ploom because I can see the old family seat from my window. Or I could if the snow would let up. I don't expect a TPA greater than 1.1.1., but you can please yourselves, and I'm sure you will"Interstishul' yer say?"There I is, sat in a corner of the local's bar in the 'Jovial Tar'. What a bloody daft name that be. 'Twere the Jolly Sailor afore all they buggers from up London moved inter t'village an' landlord thort 'twere too commin fer the likes o' they, so 'ee got the brewry ter change it. Anyways, I'm wi my mate George an' ee's just used this big werd."S'right," says George, blowin the froth off 'is beer. I ain't never too shore about the froth on the beer 'round 'ere, cos 'tis very likely that the glasses din't get rinsed proper like."Wassit mean then?" I sez. Well now,.
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